The Kid and I have been talking recently, quite a bit actually. Oddly enough it started when I tried to pick a fight with him. Damn his rational reaction. It's such a comfortable feeling, us talking again. He says he has missed it. "Seriously."
The conversations that ensued have caused me to curtail our discussions however, as I feel that he tends to skirt the line. Unfamiliar with the rules of a relationship, I asked his opinion on our actions. In hindsight, probably not the best of choices, as of course his perception is skewed. "Rules, what rules?" he asked. "The rules as applies to sexual discussions with ex-lovers of course." According to his mind, it is not cheating as he is not acting upon it. But I know that most girls would have his balls for what he says.
I promised to keep it between us, but what is the internet if not a confessional? Though he cares for his girlfriend, a lot, he often finds himself thinking about us. He gets "weird" sometimes, because we never had that last night, last moment of passion. I have since gained my emotional closure, but physically, I do still pine for him. And he apparently for me. Not only does he admit to thinking of it, often, but wanting it as well. If it not for his girlfriend, he would be in my bed, using his tongue to paint upon my "amazing canvas."
Such talk makes me ponder possibilities that have no substance, will never happen. If I had been courageous enough to admit that I wanted him, all of him, where would we be now?
The conversations that ensued have caused me to curtail our discussions however, as I feel that he tends to skirt the line. Unfamiliar with the rules of a relationship, I asked his opinion on our actions. In hindsight, probably not the best of choices, as of course his perception is skewed. "Rules, what rules?" he asked. "The rules as applies to sexual discussions with ex-lovers of course." According to his mind, it is not cheating as he is not acting upon it. But I know that most girls would have his balls for what he says.
I promised to keep it between us, but what is the internet if not a confessional? Though he cares for his girlfriend, a lot, he often finds himself thinking about us. He gets "weird" sometimes, because we never had that last night, last moment of passion. I have since gained my emotional closure, but physically, I do still pine for him. And he apparently for me. Not only does he admit to thinking of it, often, but wanting it as well. If it not for his girlfriend, he would be in my bed, using his tongue to paint upon my "amazing canvas."
Such talk makes me ponder possibilities that have no substance, will never happen. If I had been courageous enough to admit that I wanted him, all of him, where would we be now?
3 comments:
It is funny how the perception of the rules differ from person to person - sex discussions with ex-lovers is one where I think you are right - most would not be pleased.
Possibilities without substance can be delicious on one level and utterly torturous on another...
He is a possibility that is utterly torturous. And though he has a girlfriend, he remains a possibility. I'm just wanting for that late night drunk text, the one where he tells me that they've broken up, that it wasn't a relationship he wanted... ugh. A torturous possibility of my own design I suppose.
And thank you for your insight, as well as for visiting my page! I'm quite the fan.
I just read all your stuff and I absolutely love it! I haven't been excited about a new read in quite sometime. Please keep it coming. :D
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