It seems that sometimes there is no real way to express your thoughts, other than through the lyrics of others. And this time the credit goes to the goddess Adele.
But there's a side to you, that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you play, you would always win, always win
The Kid and I crossed the line, figuratively, not literally. After arguing tirelessly that I did not want a friendship based on sexting, he got me there; of my own volition I admit. Again, my only defense is the indescribable, uncontrollable sexual connection he and I have. So when the text came, the one suggesting that perhaps we might be able to see each other, between the sheets, I was not surprised.
I played the coquette, and forced his admission, relishing the thought that he preferred me still. Over both his girlfriends since, even though they are absolutely gorgeous. The initial desire gave way to concern, for the friendship. I had come to enjoy his conversations, which had been largely sex free before this break. But when he acknowledged that he valued the friendship and would rather we not if I was worried, I caved. Though perhaps caved is the wrong word, because I knew I wanted it all along.
But what happened next blew my mind. Although, as the BFF says, I really should not have been so surprised. After everything we had been through, all the lies, cheating, and fights, all the admissions and make ups, he did it again. We had made plans for a secret rendezvous, but he suddenly became distant. While I could once use his texts as a morning alarm, it was now silent. The day before he was supposed to be in my bed, I broke my rule: I creeped on his FB profile. And his status? "Plans for Friday changed, any ideas of what I should do now?" When I texted him that night, inquiring about Friday, he told me that he couldn't... because his great-grandfather had died.
Knowing what I know, I shouldn't have been surprised I guess. But I was. Because we had been so honest with each other as of late. I had been told every detail, more than I needed or wanted to know. So why lie again now? When I called him on it, he flipped out and turned it on me. I was pathetic for thinking he would use that excuse, etc. He declared himself done and out.
I second guessed myself with that, but what FB revealed in the following days only confirmed what I knew. He had gotten cold feet and bailed, but didn't have the balls to admit it. My relationship with The Kid has changed in a way that I am no longer attached emotionally, or romantically, so it didn't hurt like it did before. But I thought we had reached a point where we had the beginnings of a genuine friendship. And to be betrayed like that, that's what hurts.
But there's a side to you, that I never knew, never knew
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true
And the games you play, you would always win, always win
The Kid and I crossed the line, figuratively, not literally. After arguing tirelessly that I did not want a friendship based on sexting, he got me there; of my own volition I admit. Again, my only defense is the indescribable, uncontrollable sexual connection he and I have. So when the text came, the one suggesting that perhaps we might be able to see each other, between the sheets, I was not surprised.
I played the coquette, and forced his admission, relishing the thought that he preferred me still. Over both his girlfriends since, even though they are absolutely gorgeous. The initial desire gave way to concern, for the friendship. I had come to enjoy his conversations, which had been largely sex free before this break. But when he acknowledged that he valued the friendship and would rather we not if I was worried, I caved. Though perhaps caved is the wrong word, because I knew I wanted it all along.
But what happened next blew my mind. Although, as the BFF says, I really should not have been so surprised. After everything we had been through, all the lies, cheating, and fights, all the admissions and make ups, he did it again. We had made plans for a secret rendezvous, but he suddenly became distant. While I could once use his texts as a morning alarm, it was now silent. The day before he was supposed to be in my bed, I broke my rule: I creeped on his FB profile. And his status? "Plans for Friday changed, any ideas of what I should do now?" When I texted him that night, inquiring about Friday, he told me that he couldn't... because his great-grandfather had died.
Knowing what I know, I shouldn't have been surprised I guess. But I was. Because we had been so honest with each other as of late. I had been told every detail, more than I needed or wanted to know. So why lie again now? When I called him on it, he flipped out and turned it on me. I was pathetic for thinking he would use that excuse, etc. He declared himself done and out.
I second guessed myself with that, but what FB revealed in the following days only confirmed what I knew. He had gotten cold feet and bailed, but didn't have the balls to admit it. My relationship with The Kid has changed in a way that I am no longer attached emotionally, or romantically, so it didn't hurt like it did before. But I thought we had reached a point where we had the beginnings of a genuine friendship. And to be betrayed like that, that's what hurts.
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